Monthly Archives: February 2018

Profiles in Courage: The Week in Snark, 2/24/18

The Week in Snark

Going to try something, inspired by S&R co-founder Mike Sheehan’s late great Nota Bene feature.

Cadet Bonepurs

Trump: Florida school officer “didn’t have the courage.” And if there’s anything Cadet Bonespurs knows about, it’s courage.

Mike Pence won’t be alone in a room with a woman. Because if he was he’d grab ’em by the pussy. Or … something else…

Scientists have created human-sheep hybrids. There’s a Ryan Giggs joke in here somewhere. #ManUre #sheepshagger

Billy Graham had his flaws. But he was better than his idiot boy. I know, that’s kind of a low bar.

Rae Carruth apologizes for death of pregnant girlfriend, seeks custody of 18-year-old son. Guessing this is something of a long shot.

McDonald’s plays ‘hide the cheeseburger’ in new Happy Meal health push. How much more entertaining could this have been if it were Wienerschnitzel….

Finally, I might live forever.

Y’all be sweet, now.

Why won’t the GOP act on gun violence? Here’s a BIG reason nobody talks about.

It isn’t just NRA money. Congressional Republicans don’t act because their families aren’t at risk.

Did you see this?

‘WTF’: Twitter furious as Florida lawmakers declare porn a ‘health risk’ but block assault rifle ban

The vote comes less than a week after the devastating shooting at a Parkland, Florida high school left 17 people dead

Less than a week after the devastating shooting at a Parkland, Florida high school left 17 people dead, Florida lawmakers rejected an attempt to discuss a ban on assault weapons. The Florida House voted 36-71 on Tuesday (20 February) against a motion to consider the bill that would have banned the sale or possession of automatic weapons and high-capacity magazines such as the AR-15 assault rifle used by the gunman who opened fire at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School on Valentine’s Day.

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, the Republican Party (A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of the NRA) doesn’t care about these children. Your children. Read more

Albuquerque Journal offers disingenuous apology for racist cartoon

Albuquerque Journal racist cartoon

Racism much?

The Delonas cartoon isn’t journalism. It’s the opposite of journalism. People who green-light overtly racist stereotyping may not be suited for important editorial positions.

So, the Albuquerque Journal has apologized. Kinda.

I’ve been known for wicked sarcasm and mockery, for double-reverse satire and out and out provocation. I’m used to being misunderstood and have long known better than to calibrate my gauges by the passions of those who may not be bright enough to get the subtleties of informed discourse. (Yes, I’m an elitist, sort of – read all about it.) Read more

I accidentally scared the hell out of my new landlord last night


No cause for alarm…

So, your new tenants have just moved into one of your rental properties in another state. Around 8pm on Thursday you get a brief email from one of the tenants – the man, whom by now you have pegged as the less responsible one – asking:

Hi. Can you tell us where the water shutoff valve is located?

Five minutes later he follows up with this:

With the smoke alarms, do we need to verify that they’re green or is there more?

What do you make of these emails?

Here’s what my landlord replied:

These are questions that are leading me to believe there is an issue I need to be made aware of. Has something happened in the home?

What was happening was we were trying to complete the move-in checklist, which is due today, and finding the shut-off valve and checking the smoke detectors were the last two items on the list. Couldn’t find the valve and wasn’t sure about the detectors because they’re a little different from what I’m used to.

I didn’t really consider it at the time, but yeah, from her perspective those emails might have raised a red flag or two.

If I were trying to be an asshole (and wanted to get evicted three days in) I guess I could have followed up a couple minutes later with:

Sorry to bother you again, but is there a fire extinguisher here?