I don’t normally bother writing about reality TV, even though I do enjoy some of the shows for reasons I don’t expect anybody else to really get. But I did want to drop a couple comments on last night’s finale of The Apprentice, in which The Donald® hired 26 year-old real estate whiz Kendra Todd to run one of his businesses. Sort of. More on that “sort of” below. Anyhow, I feel moved to offer two briefish comments.

First, the real fun of the show for me is trying to figure out which of the candidates is really a player and which are there for atmosphere. Best I can tell, it goes something like this. They start with 16 people who are allegedly the cream of the crop, drawn from a pool of a million applicants. I say “allegedly” because if you watch the show and have half a brain you know that most of these jokers have about as much chance of being handed one of Trump’s companies as I do of being elected the next Pope. In reality, I’m guessing that you have maybe four or five actual candidates, people whom Trump thinks might actually be capable of running a business. The rest of cast is there because they’ll make for good TV. Maybe they’re good looking (take your pick), or quirky (you didn’t really take Danny seriously, did you?), or perhaps they’re simply the bitchiest divas in the whole drama club (remember Omorossa?). Who knows, but the producers have a formula and a million folks to choose from, so they can pretty readily craft an ensemble that will provide the real candidates with plenty of opportunities to, ummm, succeed under difficult circumstances. Which is fair, since success in business is often all about overcoming the chimps on your team.

Best of all, the designated albatrosses seem to have no idea as to their real purpose on the show. They really think they can win.

So the trick for the home viewer is to assess which of the players are players and which are props. It was especially tough this season. I’d have bet the farm that Tana was a prop for the first half of the season, and even once she got to the last five it was still hard to imagine Trump taking her seriously. Kendra might as well have been furniture for all she showed early on, but after her performance on the Solstice challenge you had a sense that maybe she had a shot.

This year I didn’t do a very good job predictifying, I fear. I knew rationally it had to be a woman or a minority since the first two winners were as white boy as you can get. But despite this, I convinced myself that Alex and Bren were strong players. Alex probably was, actually, but Bren was just way too Southern and goofy…

My second observation goes to the demographic issue. As I say, going in I was figuring it would be impolitic to pick three white men in a row. After all, this show is much more than a job interview, and the last thing in hell the producers want to hear is carping about racism or sexism. So indeed we get a woman champ, and it looks like she’s probably a pretty capable one, to boot.

But – big but, here – while Kendra won the game, just like her predecessors, her assignment makes clear that she most assuredly is not in the same camp as Bill and Kelly as far as Trump is concerned. Bill was handed the task of building a feckin’ monster skyscraper in downtown Chicago when he won, and from the laundry list they rattled off last night it sounds like Kelly wound up with even more responsibility than Bill. So what were Kendra’s choices? Either she could work on the Miss Universe pageant (and Donald’s language seemed specific – the winner wasn’t in charge, the winner was assisting the person in charge) or she could direct the renovation of a mansion in West Palm.

Ummm, wait – I can be the pageant director’s towel girl or I can star in an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition? No, seriously – what do I really get to do?

I hate to suggest that Trump has less faith in women than men, but you tell me if I’m missing something. I can’t help wondering what happens in the next season or two when he’s obliged to hire a Negro. Yes, your choices are either come over and wash my car or plan a barbeque for the custodial staff of Trump Place.

Maybe I’m not being fair. I’ve never much liked Trump (I tend to loathe people who base all value decisions on $$$), but I’ve never heard anybody accuse him of any sort of prejudice. Maybe there’s a lot more to Kendra’s job than is evident at first glance and maybe there’s less to what Bill and Kelly have been charged with. Maybe.

Time will tell. In the meantime, what do I know? The Donald has $4B and I doubt I could afford a single night in one of his hotels, so he’s brilliant and I’m fired, huh?