Merry Christmas, Douglas Bruce. And many more.
Readers of this space perhaps know that I have a burr under my saddle where one Douglas Bruce is concerned. For instance:
- In a post on the University of Colorado’s unconscionable decision to make Bruce Benson its president, I called Bruce a “perennial pigfucker.”
- Commenting on his censure by the Colorado legislature for an overtly racist attack on migrant workers, I referred to him as “Colorado’s most famous asspipe.”
- In a piece on why CU will never get another penny of my money I said this: “may Bruce die soon and rot in Hell for all the damage his malevolent bullshit has wreaked on the citizens of Colorado.” (The CU development office called me the other night, by the way, so their records do not yet include a note wondering if it’s possible to get someone’s diploma rescinded.)
- In an article on Colorado Springs, America’s Teabagger Paradise, I referred to Bruce as “one of the most notorious political pigfuckers in America.” (I know, I’m overusing “pigfucker.”)
- In an unusually charitable follow-on to that post I characterized him as the patron saint of anti-tax extremism.
- Then there was a scathing attack on a mealy-mouthed John Hickenlooper for Governor ad where I encouraged J-Hick not to settle for being a kinder, gentler Douglas Bruce.
- My analysis of CUs rebranding efforts made mention of “half-witted legislation like Douglas Bruce’s ‘Taxpayer Bill of Rights.'”
- In comparing Bruce to fellow tax cheat Al Capone I allowed that “[h]ad he lived during prohibition Bruce would perhaps have been a lot like Capone, except instead of mowing down rival gangs one imagines him targeting schools, the poor and Mexicans.”
On the whole, I think my opinion of Mr. Bruce is clear. Then yesterday, Christmas came early in the form of this headline, which Brian noted: Colorado anti-tax extremist Douglas Bruce convicted on multiple charges.
Oh, dear. So much internal conflict. Part of me wanted to sing and dance. Part of me wrestled with an impulse to hope that Bruce dies in prison, preferably a victim of gang-rape. But dammit, I’m not going there. I’ve put a lot of effort into my Sam 2.0 project, trying diligently to be a better man. That kind of hatefulness is beneath me, and besides, it’s Christmas. Where’s my charity?
So instead, I’ll simply note that Bruce faces up to 12 years in the hoosegow for his crimes against the citizens of the Centennial State. And in the spirit of generosity that marks the season, let me be the first to wish him Happy Holidays. For many years to come. Cañon City is lovely this time of year.
It feels good taking the high road.

OK, but seriously: tell us what you really think about him …
(By the bye, best of the seasons to you and all your folks.)