Halfway to dead
As you may or may not know (or care), I turned 45 last Thursday. As I have observed before, I think of my age as sort of an average. Emotionally I’m about 14, but my knees feel like they’re 80. 45 is in there somewhere.
Anyway, some thoughts and observations and factoids.
1: On my birthday I played golf with Jim (sirpaulsbuddy). As always, I sucked, but hey, it was a beautiful February day and I got to spend it on the gorgeous Tanglewood Reynolda course.
2: Later, I came home and had to deal with a fairly nasty computer crash. I got it fixed, but there went two hours I’ll never get back.
3: That evening, Angela, the aforementioned sirpaulsbuddy, and I dined on fine steak at the Twin City Chop House. I also enjoyed a nice pint of Red Oak Amber. Okay, fine – I also had two Red Oaks in the clubhouse after playing golf.
4: I went to the doctor the other day. I’m in good shape generally. My nurse turned out to be a woman who went to my high school. She was a year ahead of me. Whatever else may be said of me, I look better than most people my age. So there, punk.
5: I also celebrated the occasion by finishing up (almost, anyway) my new book, Chained to the Gates of Heaven. Now I need to find a publisher who’s looking to lose some money.
6: Many people sent me cards and e-mails congratulating me on surviving this long. Some gave me presents. May the gods bless you in direct proportion to how much you spent on me.
7: As a present to myself, I purchased the new WordPerfect Suite x3. Verily, it rocketh. Not that I need reminders of how badly MS Word sucks – I mean, I use it at work, and as such as reminded feckin’ daily of its five-star suck rating. But damn, you use something as elegant as WPx3 and it’s like driving a Bugatti Veryon after spending all afternoon on a busted tractor.
8: In another 45 years – that’ll be 2051, won’t it? – I’ll either be 90 or dead. If I’m 90, stop by the home and say hi. If I’m dead, stop by the cemetery and make sure my headstone says this:
“Life was good. Death? We’ll see…”
lullaby pit 
Happy birthday old man. I know what you mean, I turn 50 in July. In 45 years, I’ll be 95. I think I either want to die by being shot by a jealous husband, or hung for rape.
Aloha,
Jeff
Happy birthday old man. I know what you mean, I turn 50 in July. In 45 years, I’ll be 95. I think I either want to die by being shot by a jealous husband, or hung for rape.
Aloha,
Jeff
Happy birthday. And, as they say in the Hundred Acre Wood, meny happy returns.
Happy birthday. And, as they say in the Hundred Acre Wood, meny happy returns.
Have you discussed these life goals with your lovely wife?
Have you discussed these life goals with your lovely wife?
Happy Birthday and don’t fret 45. I have crushes on at least three guys who are close to 50. 🙂
Happy Birthday and don’t fret 45. I have crushes on at least three guys who are close to 50. 🙂
Happy belated birthday!
I’m with you on the 80-year-old knees….
Happy belated birthday!
I’m with you on the 80-year-old knees….
She just laughs…
Aloha,
Jeff
She just laughs…
Aloha,
Jeff
Happy Birthday!! Here’s to many more!
Happy Birthday!! Here’s to many more!
by the time you’re 90 science will have found a way to erradicate death in bald, funny-looking guys. You don’t have anyhting to worry about.lol
by the time you’re 90 science will have found a way to erradicate death in bald, funny-looking guys. You don’t have anyhting to worry about.lol
Hopefully science will also have found a way to eradicate “bald” and “funny-looking.”
Hopefully science will also have found a way to eradicate “bald” and “funny-looking.”
happy birthday !
“halfway to dead” is in the general ballpark … leave it to an actuary to bring on the morbid “good news” , but you’re actually about 56% of the way to your life expectancy (at age 45) of about 80 years . This figure is based on current mortality for healthy individuals. The really good news is that for each year that you live, your total life expectancy will inch up beyond 80 years, due to the simple fact that you didn’t die that year — woo hoo!
happy birthday !
“halfway to dead” is in the general ballpark … leave it to an actuary to bring on the morbid “good news” , but you’re actually about 56% of the way to your life expectancy (at age 45) of about 80 years . This figure is based on current mortality for healthy individuals. The really good news is that for each year that you live, your total life expectancy will inch up beyond 80 years, due to the simple fact that you didn’t die that year — woo hoo!
The good news is that both sides of my family tend to live a LONG time unless they actively try to do themselves in. And even then they survive a lot longer than they have any right to. So maybe that will keep me hanging in until medical science finds the fountain ‘o’ youth, huh?
The good news is that both sides of my family tend to live a LONG time unless they actively try to do themselves in. And even then they survive a lot longer than they have any right to. So maybe that will keep me hanging in until medical science finds the fountain ‘o’ youth, huh?
that’s good news for you, in terms of expected longevity. By their very nature, mortality tables can only take into account the expected lifetime of the “typical” individual. So, in my view, they are a starting point for life expectancy and then can be tweaked for individual circumstances.
that’s good news for you, in terms of expected longevity. By their very nature, mortality tables can only take into account the expected lifetime of the “typical” individual. So, in my view, they are a starting point for life expectancy and then can be tweaked for individual circumstances.
Last year I saw the greatest headstone at Woodlawn Cemetery in B-lo. It said
“I told you I was sick!”
I thought that was the greatest.
Last year I saw the greatest headstone at Woodlawn Cemetery in B-lo. It said
“I told you I was sick!”
I thought that was the greatest.
You say that, and you can’t help hating that you didn’t know the deceased.
You say that, and you can’t help hating that you didn’t know the deceased.
The great thing is that it was from a while back and sometimes we think that people back then arent funny. It lead to a conversation between me and my friend on what we should put on ours.
“who would of thought that having unprotected sex with that hooker in Tiajuana would have given me aids”
“don’t unplug the blue wire!”
“Damn you Norwood!”
I can go on for weeks
The great thing is that it was from a while back and sometimes we think that people back then arent funny. It lead to a conversation between me and my friend on what we should put on ours.
“who would of thought that having unprotected sex with that hooker in Tiajuana would have given me aids”
“don’t unplug the blue wire!”
“Damn you Norwood!”
I can go on for weeks