CVS announces it will stop beating its wife
Perhaps you heard: CVS has announced that it will stop selling cigarettes.
I know what you’re thinking – this is awesome! But before we all break out the kneepads and chapstick, let’s ask ourselves a question: why the fuck was a HEALTHCARE COMPANY selling GODDAMNED CIGARETTES in the first place?!
Here’s a fun question. How many people who bought cigarettes at CVS are now dead from cancer?
Health. Care. Pharmacy. Drug store. CURE people. Help them get BETTER, you amoral sociopathic death profiteering cocksuckers.
I do not give a happy motherfuck that CVS is forgoing $2 billion a year by 86ing the cancer sticks. Your physician could probably make more money selling crack on the side, too. The issue isn’t that CVS is giving up $2B a year – it’s that CVS has been making $2B a year giving people cancer.
It’s like, hi, I’m Sam, and I’m a heart surgeon/undertaker.
I’m glad CVS will no longer beat its wife. But I’m damned if I’m going to slap a wife-beater on the back.
Jesus is coming, and if you think he busted some moneychanger ass, just wait until you see the stick he’s going to break off in CVS’ ass.