American Mobility: All the Places I’ve Lived

Posted on 2018.02.06 by winterSmith Leave a comment

We’ve become a very mobile culture. Education, jobs, adventure, marriage — a lot of things call us away from home.

I’m like a lot of people in that I’ve moved around a lot, especially in the past few years. For instance, this latest move puts me in the 38^th place I’ve lived in my life and marks my 22^nd move since fall of 1993, with 10 of them being of the interstate/cross-country variety.

Three or four times I was in a place for a couple years or more, so that means there have also been times when I moved more than once a year (ah, the stress, so much stress). And this doesn’t even account for the times I moved back into the family home through the years — summers during college, for instance; I had multiple tours at 3870 Eastview Dr.

A few of these proved to be wonderfully life-changing (in its figurative sense — all moves are life-changing). NC to grad school at Iowa State was massive, and heading to Colorado for the PhD even moreso). Some, like most of my cross-town relocations around Denver and Boulder, didn’t change much. And a couple were … let’s say unproductive. I made a couple of great friends in Boston, but otherwise not much came of it. Ditto Western New York. And move 16, the Denver to Seattle to Bend and back to Denver just sucked (except for the back to Denver part).

Most recently I spent a decade or so treading water in the 5280. It was a fabulous time in many ways (highlighted by my longest stay in one place since I was a kid), but … I think most people reach a certain age and just say well, I guess this is it. That was me. That was the endgame.

Then something happened. Short version: I reconnected with a woman I knew in the early ’90s. There was always a click between us — a huge one — and it’s still there. So I did what any clear-thinking adult would do: I loaded up the truck and moved across the country to the town I grew up in.

Notice that I didn’t say I moved back home.

Some spots on the map are more conventional than others, and this one ranks way up on the list. There’s significant … motivation … to be what people think you are. It could range from a vague absence of opportunity and support to active pressure to get with the program (and this usually comes from those closest to you; sometimes those who know you’re the best know the least). I’m guessing a lot of you know the feeling.

When I left town for grad school in 1987, it was the first time in my life I’d been free to be myself.

It’s been a long time since then. The town has changed in significant ways and I’m certainly not the guy I was 35 years ago. But the place still isn’t home.

Home is, and will continue to be where she is.