Applicant tracking systems are yet another reason to hate capitalism.

Once upon a time when you wanted to apply for a job, you wrote a résumé that highlighted your skills and experience and you cast yourself in the most positive light possible.

Then some asshole invented the applicant tracking system (ATS), which basically scans your résumé and keyword matches it against the job description. Now your finely tuned résumé, which illustrates what a fantastic communicator you really are, is useless.

But remember: the primary role of technology in a capitalist system is to generate revenue. And the ATS is wonderful at that, because not only is eroding the quality of the talent acquisition function a massive market (according to my buddy ChatGPT, Fortune Business Insights reports that the global ATS market was valued at USD 16.04 billion in 2024 and is projected to reach USD 30.51 billion by 2032, growing at a compound annual growth rate [CAGR] of 8.5% during the forecast period), it creates a new market – one that helps job seekers optimize for ATS (the resume optimization software market—encompassing tools like JobScan—is also expanding. Valued at approximately USD 0.35 billion in 2024, it’s projected to grow to USD 1.16 billion by 2033, reflecting a CAGR of around 8.5%).

After getting no response at all to many, many job postings I was perfectly qualified for, I finally caved in and got JobScan. If possible, I now hate the staffing industry even more than I already did. The process isn’t hard once you let go of the idea that it needs to sound good, but fuck is it time-consuming and soul-deadening. I think I lose a couple of IQ points for every job I apply to.

The fun part kicks in when you discover that not all systems are equally good at understanding synonyms. For example, “works cross-functionally” and “works in cross-functional teams” may be different things. This morning I was even left wondering if the machine regarded “cross-functional teams” (plural) as an acceptable substitute for “cross-functional team” (singular), or if I needed to find some way of working both versions into a two-page document without looking like a jughead.

I’ve known for years that when it comes to marketing, you often need to write poorly to write effectively. Now I’ve learned another lesson: in order to get a job, you have to pay for software that makes your resume worse.

If I were rich enough, I might make a movie that was a cross between Office Space and Alice in Wonderland, where Alice is seeking a content manager job. I’m not sure whether the Chief People Officer is the Mad Hatter or the Queen of Hearts, though…