For those of you who work in Marketing, here’s a little something to help get you through the next monthly all-hands meeting.

Beer, wine, hard liquor of choice—you might want to have several lined up and ready to go.

Take a drink every time somebody says:

• thrilled
• excited
• fabulous
• wonderful
• powerful
• congratulations (two drinks if somebody gets a “gold star”)
• incredible
• remarkable
• phenomenal
• extraordinary
• celebrate
• appreciate
• we have the best team
• KPI
• RACI

Take two drinks every time:

• there’s applause
• somebody says “awestruck”
• somebody aspirates a word (hhexcited, hhawesome, hhwonderful, etc.)
• somebody puts a question mark at the end of any sentence that isn’t a question?
• somebody speeaaaks… liiiike a Kardaaashiaaaan… literally…
• somebody sucks up to their boss (three if they suck up to the CMO)
• NOTE: these are additive – if somebody says hhawestruck like a Kardashian with a question mark, that’s eight drinks

If somebody says:

• thank you, but pronounces it “think you,” finish your drink
• yes, but pronounces it “yas,” finish your drink
• awesome, take a drink (two if they pronounce it “ossum,” and finish your drink for “hhossum”)
• amazing, take a drink (two if they pronounce it “ameezing,” and finish your drink for “hhameezing”)
• if the person saying “ameezing” or “ossum” is actually the CMO, finish your drink and have another

Anyone who can walk after ten minutes is the winner.