If anybody knows the source of this version, let me know. I want to give them credit…. ___________________________ Cows Explain Government DEMOCRAT You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you. REPUBLICAN You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one

Top-ranked team coming off a big emotional win against arch-rival? Check. Talented but inconsistent team jacked up and laying in the weeds? Check. Road trip to one of the toughest places to play in the league? Check. All systems are go. Initiate upset countdown. 1. I’ll start with what was positive about the Wake trip to Tallahassee. First, Chris Paul

Well, what do you know. There is something Jann Wenner won’t do for money.

From today’s NewsScan: TEEN SUED BY APPLE GETS FREE HELP FROM LAWYER San Francisco lawyer Terry Gross, a specialist in freedom of speech and the Internet, will defend 19-year-old Nicholas Ciarelli against a lawsuit brought by Apple charging the Harvard freshman and Web publisher revealing Apple trade secrets on his Web site, http://www.ThinkSecret.com. Gross, whose services will be given on

Damn, this myths_americana entry on a new real-time Iraq-based video game is almost too much to contemplate – especially when you start thinking abou the Iraqi take. Imagine that a foreign army was in your city effecting regime change and they had destroyed your house and killed your family, then this turned up. Yeesh.

You may have seen that Harvard prez Lawrence Summers is in the cookpot over comments he recently made on the subject of women in science and the reasons why they have not advanced as quickly as their male counterparts. Nobody has provided us with a transcript of his actual remarks, so we’re doing what we can to reconstruct them from

Sweet mother of Mergatroid – Dubya gets one right. I don’t know who Bush has been listening to lately, but there is a lot right with this article. The important questions are: 1: When he talks about “human intelligence” and makes the point that our enemies are doing a better job telling their story, are we hearing empty buzzwording or

Well, here’s the boost that America’s progressives have been waiting for. Springer promised to provide unabashed liberal views to counter the positions of President Bush in the first airing Monday of his radio show in Cincinnati, where he once served as mayor. Which is worse, a noble enemy or an ally who’s a whore?

Or, Darwinism strikes West Florida. The old joke goes like this: Q: What are the most common last words in the South? A: Hey y’all, watch this! We can argue about whether Fort Myers is actually in the South if you want, but: Just before she fell, she had called out to a friend, “Watch to see what I can

See, I never shot myself in the brain with a nail gun. Apparently the dude felt some pain and thought it was just because the backlash popped him in the face, maybe? I don’t know. So I should begin by acknowledging that I have no first-hand experience on the subject of shooting yourself in the brain with a nail gun.

1. Okay, the Deacs finally impressed me. They played defense, they got solid contributions from guys like Downey and Danelius, Williams seems to have figured out his role, and Paul is every bit as good as his press clippings said he was. I think the ass-whipping from Illinois did them some good. 2. Excuse me – 32-32 from the foul

I’ve been working on this for awhile, and thanks to others who chipped in ideas. Through the years the Web has unleashed a seemingly endless spew of heretofore untapped stupidity in humankind. We have discovered, as a happy side effect, that humankind also possesses previously unrecognized reservoirs of laziness and an untamed goof-off spirit that has cost the world’s employers

From today’s NewsScan, another free daily e-mailer service I highly endorse: APPLE SUES STUDENT FOR DIVULGING SECRETS Nicholas Ciarelli launched what has become one of the most influential Apple-focused Web sites when he was 13 as a hangout for fellow Mac enthusiasts, but his penchant for posting trade secrets has gotten the now-19-year-old Harvard student, who publishes online under the

Judge: Evolution stickers must be removed from textbooks The ruling issued by U.S. District Judge Clarence Cooper said the stickers violate the Establishment Clause of the U.S. Constitution. Yup. Of course, let Dubya appoint three or four Supreme Court justices and that’ll be the end of this, I suppose…

Excuse me – you want my DNA for what?! BOSTON (Reuters) – Civil rights advocates Monday urged U.S. law enforcement officials trying to solve a 3-year-old murder case to stop asking for DNA samples from male residents of a Cape Cod community. Police in Truro, Massachusetts, are seeking genetic thumbprints from nearly 800 men who live in the quiet seaside