Ho Ho Humbug, boys and girls, and welcome back for that most specialist SVR of the year. If you’ve got Jack Retailer nipping at your wallet, brew yourself up a toddy and settle back as SRTV presents our inaugural War on the Holidays Spectacular!©

Up first, Weird Al shows us that the apocalypse doesn’t have to be a downer!

Too futuristic for you? Well, here’s something a little more traditional – imagine with us, if you will, the smell of chipmunks roasting on an open fire.

Do you hate that damned repetitive “12 Days of Christmas” as much as we do? Not bloody likely, but let’s say you do, for the sake of argument. Here are some guys who’ve actually figured out how to make it fun. And I don’t mean “fun” in the way that betting on how many eggnogs it will take before Aunt Gladys passes out in Little Jimmy’s lap this year is fun, either. Although that’s certainly fun. I mean, not for Little Jimmy, but still…

So, has the season got you wanting to grab a strand of tinsel and strangle the mortal hell out of a loved one? We’ve all been there. Here’s a little something to chase away those homicidal impulses and put a little love in your heart.

The great thing about Christmas is getting new clothes. Especially women’s underwear!

Everybody loves putting up lights. In fact, you can see our neighbor’s place from space. With the naked eye. Even if you have glaucoma. But damn, these folks just have too much time on their hands.

Aw, what the hell. Ladies and gentlemen – SLADE!!

This year, when you’re macking under the mistletoe, we want you to try very hard not to think about this.

Ever wonder what Christmas was like in my neighborhood? It was almost exactly not like this.

And remember, when things aren’t going your way, all you need is…

One of the saddest Christmas stories ever is that Bing Crosby died before this magical moment ever aired.

Although the following clip may have driven him to suicide, anyways.

Finally, we’ll let John say it for us.

At Scholars & Rogues we celebrate the many faces of human aspiration this season, from the spiritual to the secular. Whether yours is Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, or simply sharing the joy of giving and family with those you love, we wish you happiness and peace.

Thanks to our good friend Wendie Colter for passing along several of the videos above and to Dr. Mike Pecaut for “All You Need is Elves.”