You know how schools sometimes have assemblies where outside speakers or entertainers put on a show for an hour? Right.

Well, when I was in first grade my school, Wallburg Elementary in sleepy little Wallburg, NC, had a musician come in. I don’t remember much about the show, except for this one thing. He said he was going to do something amazing. Then he draped a blanket over the piano, put on a pair of boxing gloves, sat down and went to town on a rag of some sort.

Holy hell! How did he DO THAT?!

I have since figured out that our entertainer friend was engaged in some sort of voodoo tape recorder fuckery. But 1967 Sammy didn’t know about tape recorders, so it might as well have been magic.

Meanwhile, back in 2014, a five year-old has discovered an Xbox One security flaw.

I feel like such a hillbilly.