As long as Tiger Woods is drawing breath, ESPN is going to have Patrick Reed in witness protection.

Patrick Reed can’t catch a break with the Morthership, no matter how good he is. Here’s a screenshot of this morning’s ESPN above-the-fold malpractice:

Reed leads at 9-under, but the real story is Tiger Woods, who barely made the cut. Look – there is accomplishment in his struggles. Pimping ain’t easy for a hustler having to squeak by on $740M.

Look, ESPN is like every other network out there – it ain’t about journalism and hasn’t been for a long time. It’s about making you click.

The real question here is what the hell did Patrick Reed ever do to Tiger Woods? See, this has happened before. Seriously, read this story.

I was just watching SportsCenter as I ate dinner. After telling us the good news and the bad news about today’s Lakers/Thunder game (good news: OKC lost; bad news: LA won) co-host Matt Barrie turned to the weekend’s big golf tournament, the Doral. Obviously, the dictates of big time sports journalism meant that he led with the winner guy who tied for 25th.

And it wasn’t just that they chose to tell us about why Tiger Woods didn’t win first. I put a stopwatch on them: it was 1:50 before they so much as mentioned anyone other than him. A minute. And fifty … motherfucking … seconds.

After they grudgingly talked about somebody other than Tiger for a few seconds, they went back and talked about him for a couple more minutes. I’d have to time the whole show to be sure, but my guess is that they devoted 7-8% of the entire broadcast to the guy who barely nudged out Graham Delaet.

The winner that day? Patrick Reed.

I can only imagine the final exam questions you see in Sports Journalism 101 these days, but as I noted last time:

If Tiger Woods won, lead with that.

If Tiger Woods didn’t win, lead with that.

If Tiger Woods finished last, lead with that.

If Tiger Woods agreed to Grand Marshal the 2015 Tournament of Hookers Parade, lead with that.

If Tiger Woods didn’t enter the tournament, lead with that.

Tiger Woods is a washed-up douchenozzle. I predicted four years ago he’d never win another major, and I wasn’t even factoring in how nasty his injuries have been.

But as long as Woods is drawing breath, Patrick Reed might as well be in witness protection.