ESPN: All Tiger, all the time
Oh, look. It’s US Open week. Let the fluffing begin.
And away we go.
Today the top story is that Tiger won the tournament a long time ago.
If Tiger wins this week, that will be the top story. If he finishes 30th, the story will be that he’s the reason the winner won. If we nuke Canada, the story will be how he played in Canada once.
If Jesus returns, the story will be that he came back to watch Tiger.
And now, the daily wagering proposition: if Tiger isn’t in first after the third round, how many paragraphs into the ESPN recap will you have to read to find out who’s leading?
Official S&R over/under: 3½.
lullaby pit 
Whoa, whoa, easy about Canada there, buddy! 🙂
After you guys burned down the White House in the War of 1812 you’re the one needs to simmer down, eh?
After we saw how you treated the locals there before you, we said how do you like them apples
See, this is why you’re going to get nuked during the US Open.
Which, by the way, is a major tournament. The Canadian Open is, I think, a Putt-Putt tournament.
You trollin’ me, bruh?
No more so than usual.
It was only a matter of time before you had to go South Park, wasn’t it?
Your people came up with that, not mine. I thought I’d just perpetuate the false stereotype to guarantee you’d continue the ignorance
We somehow elected Donald Trump. What do you think I could possibly do in THAT shadow?