Why isn’t the “GOAT” a first-ballot Hall of Famer?

The Ballad of Runaround Sue

Guys, imagine one of your boys comes to you and says bro, your woman is cheating.

You’re concerned, but your woman never cheated on you. You might pay closer attention, but she gets the benefit of the doubt.

But damn, turns out she was cheating. Y’all have a come-to-Jesus, and she promises never again.

Your boy comes back at you and says bro, she’s cheating again.

This time…she doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt, does she? The woman already proved she’ll run around.

You give her one more chance (for some odd-ass reason—we’ll talk about your issues another time).

Your boy comes around a third time.

This time around, you assume she’s guilty, right? This is three that you know of, and who the hell knows how many more besides?

This post is about Bill Belichick.

WTF, amirite?

We learned yesterday that Belichick won’t be a first-ballot Hall of Fame inductee, despite winning six Super Bowls as head coach of the New England Patriots.

The punditry is Outraged!^©

• Insane!
• It’s embarrassing!
• What the actual [expletive]?
• Absolute ridiculousness!
• Boycott!
• If Belichick isn’t first ballot, just shut the Hall down!

There are theories as to why Belichick is being passed over. Some think it’s political, related to his feud with Pats owner Robert Kraft, who has considerably more power than most Florida massage parlor clientele.

Others suggest that he isn’t really anything special as a coach. His NFL record without Tom Brady on the field is 83-104 (44.4%). If you add his numbers as the North Carolina head coach this past season, he’s 87-112 (43.7%). These kinds of numbers might get you an interview for the Jets job, but if you want in Canton you’ll need to buy a ticket.

Granted, no coach does it without a QB. But even George Halas won more than 65% of his games without Sid Luckman, arguably the only decent quarterback da Bears ever had before Caleb Williams.

Runaround Bill

The best explanation, though, is that Belichick—like the girlfriend at the top of the page—was a known cheater.

Multiple sources told ESPN that lingering controversy from the Spygate and Deflategate scandals was a factor for some Hall of Fame voters in Belichick’s first-ballot snub, because several committee members “cared about that.”

He won six Super Bowls. Absolutely.

But we know one was dirty. We acknowledge the controversy surrounding Deflategate, but because of Spygate, we’re justifiably suspicious.

And since he forfeited the presumption of innocence, I simply don’t know how many of his Super Bowl rings are clean, and you don’t, either. Maybe the guys deciding on the Hall of Fame are like me: they can’t assume he won anything fairly. He probably did, but he created the doubt.

This goes out to the punditry, to Isola, Graziano, Wetzel, Stephen A., and all the rest who don’t think integrity matters.

It isn’t on the guys around that table.

It’s on Runaround Bill.