Jimmy Fallon and Conor McGregor vs. the rest of us

I’m sure a lot of you have been following the Jimmy Fallon/Conor McGregor story. Christina Ricci uncorked what was probably the most high-profile attack, and those who know me won’t be surprised to learn I’m on Team Ricci.

One of the most thoughtful analyses I saw came from Alyssa Royse, who devoted some time to the difference between Nice Guy and Good Guy.

[Fallon is] one of the “Nice Guys.” You know the ones, the ones who don’t make waves. Who are quick with a smile and a nod and to make everyone feel welcome. But it’s a show. It’s performative. It’s the spoonful of sugar to help the misogyny and bigotry go down. It’s done in service of their own security, not anyone else’s rights or safety.

Because when the Nice Guys, the popular guys, don’t stand up to the bad guys, they become bad guys. They become the mechanism by which the bad stuff – the rapes, the cheating, the stealing, the lying – is allowed to continue. It’s normalized. It’s just “the way it is.” It’s “boys being boys.”

This is true at your work place, when the managers “have a talk” with the harasser, but never actually do anything. It’s true in your friend group when people keep inviting the known rapey dudes to parties.

These people, the “go along to get along” “Nice Guys,” are the ones who hold open the doors for the guys like Conor McGregor (and their more milquetoast brethren) to have access to their victims.

The nice guy wants everybody to get along.

The good guy wants everybody to be well.

You know who Royse is talking about. At some point, you might have been who she’s talking about. Hopefully no more.

It can be hard these days for the good guy to be nice. And sometimes the nicest guy is the worst guy.

I’m going to go out there today and try to be a good guy. Wish me luck.