Wow – imagine my surprise at discovering that the German language has a word for music!

Ahem. As you no doubt are aware, Euro2008 crescendos tomorrow afternoon as Spain and Germany meet in the final. In honor of the summer’s premier athletic competition (well, until the Olympics start, anyway), SVR today presents the music of the four semi-final nations, along with some brief explanation as to why a nation’s music tells us a lot about their soccer teams.

We’ll begin with Turkey. The Turks’ spectacular run through the tournament came to a screeching halt in a 3-2 thriller with Germany on Wednesday, but they depart with music in their hearts. Or something like that. This video makes clear that the Turks are a passionate and well-dressed people who love horses, but there’s not a soccer ball in sight.

Up next, the other semi-final loser: Russia. Not to be critical, but this explains a lot about why the team lost. (Note: only the guys in the uniforms are real Russkis here – the clowns up front are Finns pretending to be Russians. Come to think of it, this video also explains why the Finns lost to the US Miracle on Ice hockey team in Lake Placid.)

And now, our first finalist – Spain! I’m going to be honest with you – if this is all they have, Germany will be up by 10 at the half.

Finally, this is why Germany is going to win tomorrow. Las Barbie Girlez are in the deep sauerkrauten against this sort of goosestepping, nard-stomping efficiency.

The moral: music tells us a lot about the character of a futbol team. Germany 2, Spain 1, Michael Ballack hits the winner in overtime. [UPDATE: Ruh-roh – I am all of a sudden less confident of my prediction – especially the “Ballack part.]

We’ll be back next Saturday, when our neverending quest to leave no cheap stereotype unflogged will continue. Now, shut up and pass the Rumpleminze….