Zombie America: a metaphor
US culture is like a zombie apocalypse.
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report) – Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.
The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.
“These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.”
More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”
It’s like a zombie movie, really – one of the new generation ones with zombieism resulting from a virus. The US is being overrun by an especially nasty strain of the anti-intellectual virus (which has always lain dormant in the #Murican DNA) and as a result millions and millions of brain-dead zombies (who are not only allowed to vote, they’re encouraged to do so) threaten the very existence of the nation. And possibly worse, given the virus’s resilience vs. climate science.
There’s good news and bad news. The good news is that there’s a proven vaccine, a potent cocktail of education, intellectual curiosity and critical thinking. It’s 100% effective and is recommended without reservation.
The bad news is that, as we know from watching zombie movies, while the vaccine will keep you from contracting zombieism, it won’t keep the zombies from eating you.
Something to think about as campaign season descends upon us…