Tag Archives: Boston Red Sox

#EPICFAIL: the return of the 86ers

For 86 years the Boston sports fan’s image was defined by the Curse of the Bambino and its periodic avatars, like Bucky Fucking Dent. And Aaron Fucking Boone. And Bill Buckner, who later tried to commit suicide by throwing himself in front of a bus, only to have the bus go between his legs (rim shot). The Boston brand was futility, the yearly ritual of hope and its eventual collapse into despair. Read more

Andre Agassi: What a rich man’s discontent can teach us all about living an authentic life

They say money can’t buy happiness. The same also goes for celebrity, and even the status that accompanies being among the best in the world at your profession. We’ve had ample demonstration of this in recent days.

Robert Enke, the goaltender for Hannover 96 (who currently hover in the middle of the German Bundesliga standings) and a potential member of next year’s German World Cup team, died the other day. His death was apparently a suicide.

“At 1825 (1725GMT) he was run over by a regional express train running between Hamburg and Bremen,” said police spokesman Stefan Wittke. “The train was travelling at the speed of 160-kph.”The player’s friend and consultant Joerg Neblung told reporters: “I can confirm this is a case of suicide. He took his own life just before six (pm).

Enke lost a child in 2006 and has left behind a wife and eight month-old daughter. Read more

The Karma wagon rolls around for Manny: respect the game, Tittie-Boy

Oh, the sheer deliciousness of it all. Manny Ramirez has been busted for using.

The word is that ManRam didn’t actually use steroids.

However, two sources told ESPN’s T.J. Quinn and Mark Fainaru-Wada that the drug used by Ramirez is HCG — human chorionic gonadotropin. HCG is a women’s fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body’s natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle. It is similar to Clomid, the drug Bonds, Giambi and others used as clients of BALCO.

This may be even sweeter, for a couple of reasons. First, this line: “…typically used by steroid users to restart their body’s natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle.” Outing Manny for roid use would have been great, but the next best thing is the lingering shadow of suspicion that’s bound to follow him around for the rest of his career (and, with luck, well into the latter years of his Hall of Fame eligibility). Read more

2007 in Review, pt. 4: The agony of defeat…

Hi, and welcome to day four of our 2007 review. Today’s topic – the year in sports. And what a year it was – great competition, exciting on-field action, outstanding team accomplishments, and all of it trumped by off-field drama.

Barry B*nds: The real homerun king is Hank Aaron, and don’t you forget it. It wasn’t a pretty summer in sports, and the ugliest of the ugly was this roided-up icon of arrogance and entitlement. He may go to jail and he may not, but rest assured, nobody is ever going to write a Field of Dreams-style epic about him. Let this be a lesson, kids – flaxseed oil is for losers.

In other news, some of Barry B*nds supporters called our anti-Barry hatred racism. Hank Aaron was reportedly stunned to learn that he’s been white all these years. Read more

AAA-Rod is bigger than the game

It’s always confusing to sports fans, and not a little disappointing, when they encounter great talents with second-rate character. Bobby Knight is a legendary coach but a serial bully who has, on many occasions, deserved a righteous public ass-whipping. Barry Bonds was gifted with first-ballot Hall of Fame skills, but has destroyed his reputation forever thanks to a little problem with the flaxseed oil.

And now we have Alex Rodriguez, who the other night cemented his standing as baseball’s newest king-hell punk. It’s a shame, because he’s probably the greatest player alive (at least, the greatest player between the dates of April 1 and September 30). For those who might have forgotten, let’s review some of A-Rod’s more celebrated Bush League moments. Read more

Evangelical litmus tests and the World Series: why we all need to be rooting against the Colorado Rockies

The World Series starts tomorrow night and people around here have gone Rockies crazy. I’m getting asked a lot if I’m excited, and the answer is yes – Go Red Sox! They all want to know “why aren’t you rooting for Colorado?” So I’m answering them:

First off, the Red Sox are my favorite team. Second, I cannot abide the arrogance and stupidity of an organization that makes decisions according to a religious litmus test. It’s offensive, and would be so if they were using my beliefs as the test just as much as it is using evangelical Christianity, which is how they operate now.

Read more

Nostrasamus Prophesies the 21st Century

What kind of place will the ground upon which we now stand be come January 1, 2101?

As we turn into a new millennium I imagine many people have pondered what the coming century holds for them, their children, and their grandchildren. Will the 2000s be a time of peace, of prosperity, an age of enlightenment and human achievement?

Or will humanity succumb to its darker instincts, engulfing the planet in war, environmental disaster, and economic inequity? Read more