If you recall, Bocephus is out at MNF, thanks to a joke that ESPN deemed over the line. But somebody has to sing an annoying, poorly customized intro before each game, right? Who, though?

I have an idea.

Lately Mitt Romney, Man of the People^® has been touring the country, connecting with the Common Man. He’s connected with Northern auto workers, with the black folk, with NASCAR fans, with hillbillies, and just yesterday, he made important inroads with America’s football fans.

FINEBAUM: You are a Patriots fan, I know that you’ve had a lot of support from that family. Having said that, the most coveted free agent in NFL history is Peyton Manning. I know you want him somewhere away from New England, where do you think he ought to go?

ROMNEY: Well, you know I’m surprised to hear that Denver’s thinking about him, they’re — I don’t want him in our neck of the woods, lets put it that way, I don’t want him to go to Miami or to the Jets. But I’ve got a lot of good friends, the owner Miami Dolphins, and the New York Jets — both owners are friends of mine.

If you’re The Mothership, you’d ideally like a fresh take on your new MNF open, but at the same time you’d like to preserve the equity you’ve built in the “All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight” brand. So how about this: Mitt & the One Percenters intro each game with their version of “All My Wealthy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight”?

Huh? Huh? You love it! I can tell. I smell RATINGS!

Boomer, have your people call mine. Let’s get this deal done.