In which I share a funny moment with myself. Continue reading “Kumar Rocker destroys Duke and I nearly die laughing”
Pro bozo attorney for the Trump Crime Family has said a lot of … interesting … things. Below are 11 quotes. Can you guess which are his and which aren’t? Continue reading “Shit Rudy Giuliani Says”
We must be prepared to laugh with the universe at the banality of our own immolation. Full moon. Snowfield, vast beneath the mountain: to understand the truth of people, study their contradictions. This morning I posted this little koan (minus … Continue reading There is no future: the ironic peace of learned hopelessness (#zenofdoc)
No cause for alarm… So, your new tenants have just moved into one of your rental properties in another state. Around 8pm on Thursday you get a brief email from one of the tenants – the man, whom by now … Continue reading I accidentally scared the hell out of my new landlord last night
Ralphie May, the comedian many of us first encountered on Last Comic Standing Season 1, is dead at the way-too-young age of 45. Today for Saturday Video Roundup we present one of his greatest routines. Continue reading Remembering Ralphie May: Smoking with Jesus
You can’t make this stuff up. Fortunately, you don’t have to. I once sat in a meeting and listened as one of our veeps said, and I quote: “I have a real passion for process enhancement.” I’m trying to imagine … Continue reading I’m passionate about job hunting
Is it too early to name something the ______ of the Year? Heck no. Let’s call it.
You probably saw where United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz lamented the need to “re-accommodate” that uncooperative passenger.
What a word, that: “re-accommodation.” It doesn’t just apply to airlines – it’s application is nearly limitless.
Every night in bars across America bouncers re-accommodate unruly guests.
The US government re-accommodated the Japanese during WW2.
The US also re-accommodated the Native Americans. For example, they re-accommodated the Cherokees from NC to Oklahoma (although we have to come up with something better than “Trail of Tears”).
There’s some re-accommodation going on right now at Standing Rock. Continue reading “S&R’s 2017 Word of the Year: “re-accommodation””
San Diego’s MLS hopefuls and Crayola ought to have learned from history. #NewCrayonColors
It started innocently enough in 2012, when the geniuses at Mountain Dew decided to ask the Internet’s help in naming their new “green apple with attitude” flavor. The results included “Hitler Did Nothing Wrong,” “Diabeetus” and “Moist Nugget.”
Shortly thereafter the Slovaks staged an Internet campaign to name a cycling and pedestrian bridge near the capital. Logically enough, voters wanted to name it for … Chuck Norris.
Then, of course, there was the famous 2016 case of the British government soliciting the Internet’s advice on what to name a new research ship. Which of the suggested dignified names would be chosen? Shackleton, perhaps – hard to get more worthy than that, right? Continue reading “Boaty McBoatface, Footy McFooty Face and Trumpkin: WHY do people keep asking the Internet for help?”
I know I said I’d never write another poem, but how often do you get to collaborate with a Pulitzer winner? _____ Portrait: Paul Szep Words: @Doc Continue reading Bigly
RIP Santa Claus: 300-2016 AD Go tell the kids – Santa ain’t coming this year. Continue reading 2016 claims another victim
I don’t care if you stuff your pockets until it looks like you’re smuggling carburetors. If you’re too macho to carry a bag, that’s your issue.
I can imagine how the conversation would go. My father is still alive and it’s Thanksgiving. We’re having dinner at his place. I walk in, say hello to everyone, and he draws a bead on my latest purchase.
“Nice purse,” he says. Continue reading “Of courier bags and man-purses: women have been right all along”
And we arrive at the final installation in our series of lines from The Big Bang Theory that would make good band names. I love the first one.
Liquor and Poor Judgment
The Unified Theory of Comedy
Malibu Koothrappali and His Totally Bitchin’ Dream House
The Wolowitz Coefficient
Tangy Bowl of Cheerios Continue reading “Big Bang Theory band names, pt 4 (Saturday Video Roundup)”
Topless Natalie Portman
My Good Robot T-shirt
Haroon and Tanvir Continue reading “Big Bang Theory band names, pt 3”
It was the greatest moment of my life.
I attended a high school in rural North Carolina that was probably typical of rural high schools in every way, up to and including the sadistic coach/science teacher archetype. At our school it was Coach Kelly. He ran the wrestling program, was an assistant football coach, and, of course, an educator specializing in the lower division sciences. Side note: my high school has never produced a Nobel winner.
Anyhow, it was either my freshman or sophomore year and I had Mr. Kelly for PE. One day, when it was either too wet or too cold to go outside, the activity was Dodgeball. Continue reading “My Memoir: Dodgeball”
Our series on lines from The Big Bang Theory that would make great band names continues apace. The second one here is among my all-time favorites.
One Fine-Ass Dungeonmaster
Wil Wheaton Sausagefest
Not a Fwag
What’s Up With Ichabod? Continue reading “Big Bang Theory band names, pt 3”
Pretty Boys in the Big City
Penny Penny Penny Continue reading “Big Bang Theory band names, pt 2”
I love The Big Bang Theory and have watched all the episodes multiple times (some I’ve probably seen 20 times or more). I noticed that sometimes the characters say things that would make good band names. Or at least, perhaps, entertaining bands names.
I have written some of them down and will present them in a series, ten at a time. Here’s the first batch.
Anne Frank Above a Bowling Alley Continue reading “Big Bang Theory band names, pt 1”
Have you seen the latest Subway ad? If not:
So, if I were in charge of Subway’s advertising here in the post-Jared world, I might have done things a bit differently.
1: There would be, no how no way, no conversations taking place in HR. Continue reading “Dear Subway: some advice on your latest TV commercial”
What a fucking day.
Item: Congress has tentatively agreed on a bill that will keep the government from shutting down. Now, there’s a lot wrong with it, starting with the fact that the Republicans are insisting on a huge payoff to Wall Street, basically holding the best interests of the people hostage to the best interests of the insanely rich. The smart money says the Democrats will:
a) raise holy hell, then
b) fold like the Vichy little bitches they are.
In other news, the sun is expected to rise in the east tomorrow.
None of this is the fun part, though. First, the GOP plan would … well, just read it. Continue reading “Facebook, the NFL and the GOP: #WTF”