Facebook, the NFL and the GOP: #WTF

What a fucking day.

Item: Congress has tentatively agreed on a bill that will keep the government from shutting down. Now, there’s a lot wrong with it, starting with the fact that the Republicans are insisting on a huge payoff to Wall Street, basically holding the best interests of the people hostage to the best interests of the insanely rich. The smart money says the Democrats will:

a) raise holy hell, then
b) fold like the Vichy little bitches they are.

In other news, the sun is expected to rise in the east tomorrow.

None of this is the fun part, though. First, the GOP plan would … well, just read it.

The plan would roll back safety rules aimed at ensuring truck drivers get enough rest, ignoring the pleas of consumer activists and Transportation Secretary Anthony Foxx.

The provision would temporarily suspend rules that took effect last year while a study is conducted about the number of trucks driven on congested roads. Under the change, truckers would be able to work as many as 82 hours a week.

Some Senate Democrats oppose the Dodd-Frank proposal, including Sherrod Brown of Ohio and Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts. Warren in a statement today called the change “reckless.”

The good news here is – hey, what could possibly go wrong?! Ummmm.

Truck driver fatigue is a contributing factor in as many as 30-40% of all heavy truck crashes. (NHTSA, 1994).

A 1995 National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) study found that of 107 heavy truck crashes, fatigue was a prominent factor in 75% of the run-off-the-road crashes, with 68% of long-haul drivers and 49% of short haul drivers suffering fatigue-related crashes.

Working long shifts not only radically increases the risk of performance errors due to lost alertness and drowsiness, but it also impairs a trucker’s ability to gain proper restorative sleep even when they have sufficient off-duty time for sleep. (Federal Highway Administration or FHWA, 1997).

The risk of a crash effectively doubles from the eighth to the tenth hour of driving, and doubles again from the tenth to the eleventh hour of driving alone. (FMCSA, 2000).

I know, let’s ask Tracy Morgan.

Also, the bill specifies that no funding will be allowed for ACORN. They ceased operations four or five years ago, but why take chances on a liberal zombie apocalypse, huh?

No mention of whether the bill bans funding for the Bull Moose party.

Item: NFL owners OK new conduct policy. About damned time, huh?

Wait, what’s this?

A six-game suspension without pay for violations involving assault, sexual assault, battery, domestic violence, child abuse and other forms of family violence will be in effect, but with consideration given to mitigating or aggravating circumstances.

Six games? For this? 

The beating allegedly resulted in numerous injuries to the child, including cuts and bruises to the child’s back, buttocks, ankles, legs and scrotum, along with defensive wounds to the child’s hands. [emphasis added]

Or this?

Six games, huh?

Well, at least they allow for mitigating circumstances. You know, like the bitch had it coming, or that’s how we raise kids in the South, or it’s in the Bible.

“The policy is comprehensive,” Goodell said. “It is strong. It is tough. And it is better for everyone associated with the NFL.

“I have stated it many times: Being part of the NFL is a privilege. It is not a right.”

You tell ’em, Commish. It’s a fucking right not to have to miss more than six games after nearly killing somebody who’s smaller and defenseless against you.

One more.

Item: Facebook is working on an algorithm to keep people from posting while drunk.

Jesus, why would you take this away from us?!


And this?

Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 7.48.46 PM

And this?

Screen Shot 2014-12-10 at 7.44.23 PM

What’s next, a stupid filter?

Listen up, Zuck. You need to be careful about what you take away. Idiots, cat photos and an utter disregard for user privacy is all you have to offer as it is.

That’s all I got. I’m going to go have a few beers. Then maybe I’ll drunkbook, while I still can…


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