Also – Budweiser’s secret ingredient!
Shutdown of funeral home that also ran body brokerage roils town. And the town’s undertaker is also head of the assassin’s guild.
Suspicious package reports surge after deadly Texas parcel bombs. I wonder if the culprit will turn out to be a pissed off white guy who listens to FOX News.
Coming soon: Garanimals, by Armani
Ed Hochuli, who joined NFL in 1990, retiring as referee. His son will take his place. Oh good. The Divine Right of Zebras.
“I made the decision all by myself.” Check out President Big Boy Pants.
Stiff, transparent fucknozzles for everyone!
Jared Kushner has ‘got to go’ if reports about his role in Qatar blockade true: Leading Democrat. Yes. Specifically he has got to go to jail.
Stephen Hawking Claims To Know What Happened Before The Big Bang. This is what I’ve been saying for years.
Washington set to become next state to ban anti-gay conversion therapy. However, anti-asshole religious fucknozzle conversion therapy will still be legal.
WSJ: Cohen complained about lack of reimbursement for porn star payment. So, first he stiffs the porn star, now he’s stiffing his lawyer?
House of pane: Apple was warned of glass danger. Yes, but you have to respect Apple’s transparency in dealing with the issue. #rimshot
Going to try something, inspired by S&R co-founder Mike Sheehan’s late great Nota Bene feature.
Trump: Florida school officer “didn’t have the courage.” And if there’s anything Cadet Bonespurs knows about, it’s courage.
Mike Pence won’t be alone in a room with a woman. Because if he was he’d grab ’em by the pussy. Or … something else…
Scientists have created human-sheep hybrids. There’s a Ryan Giggs joke in here somewhere. #ManUre #sheepshagger
Billy Graham had his flaws. But he was better than his idiot boy. I know, that’s kind of a low bar.
Rae Carruth apologizes for death of pregnant girlfriend, seeks custody of 18-year-old son. Guessing this is something of a long shot.
McDonald’s plays ‘hide the cheeseburger’ in new Happy Meal health push. How much more entertaining could this have been if it were Wienerschnitzel….
Finally, I might live forever.
Y’all be sweet, now.