Rush Limbaugh blames feminists for his tiny penis (but maybe the real cause is Oxycontin)
Credit Joshua Holland with that headline, which I’m stealing gleefully. Rush really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn’t he?
In case you missed it:
Rush Limbaugh went on a tirade today about how “feminazis” and “chickification” are to blame for the fact that he has a tiny dick the average penis is 10 percent smaller than 50 years ago:
Rush Limbaugh on Thursday lashed out at feminists — who he called “feminazis” — over the news that male genitalia are shrinking.
The conservative radio host pointed to an Italian study which found that the average male penis was 10 percent smaller than 50 years ago. Researchers cited weight gain around the waist, smoking, stress and environmental pollutants as factors.
But Limbaugh wasn’t buying that explanation.
“I think it’s feminism,” he declared. “If it’s tied to the last 50 years — the average size of [a male’s] member is 10 percent smaller than 50 years — it has to be the feminazis, the chickification and everything else.”
“Give ‘em time and they’ll blame Bush. But air pollution vs. feminazis? Ha!”
I wonder if anyone has done a study on the effects of Oxycontin on willie size? Hey – let’s Google that. Aha!
A new study shows that those who use or abuse opiods, not only have trouble maintaining an erection, but many male users lose on average a quarter of an inch in length of their Penis size for every year of chronic use. Dr. Franz Ludwig of The Medical University of Salzburg in Salzurg Austria directed the study. Dr. Ludwig mentioned that, “It seems that an overwhelming number of opiod users are negitivly effected by opiods, well over 50 percent of those tested, around 57 percent to be exact lost about .3 of an inch of their penis size on average, over a span that streched one year.”
I can’t vouch for the study, obviously, but let’s apply the kind of logic to the question that Limbaugh does:
- Limbaugh is a convicted drug abuser.
- Limbaugh has a half-inch pecker.
- Therefore, Oxycontin abuse is responsible for Limbaugh’s inability to satisfy a woman.
Say what you will about Limbaugh, but the man is a pro and he knows his audience. I mean, if you factor out men insecure about their wee Johnsons, how many listeners does he really have left?
Image Credit: Richard Myers