Back in the old days rape was rape. Or, at most, there were two kinds. There was the “put on a ski mask and rape her at knifepoint” type and there was the “she said she was 18” statutory type. Which wasn’t really rape at all, because, I mean, LOOK at her. And she really wanted it. These days it’s
Read moreEverybody seems to be so negative about campaign season. They hate the ads, they hate the mudslinging, they hate the lying, they hate the candidates. Not me – I LOVE campaign season. Why? Because it’s an opportunity to learn stuff that not only didn’t I know before, but that I’d never learn any other way.
Read moreI had a small disagreement with a hotel yesterday. I had booked for three nights, but a change of plans required me to cut the trip short and come home a day early. As the clerk was processing the change, she said that she’d be refunding the third night, minus a “15% administrative fee.” Now, I know that changes like
Read moreIn an attempt to quell growing fan unrest over the job being done by its replacement officials, the NFL today announced a new promotion it expects to increase public engagement with the national pastime. Commissioner Roger Goodell says the YOU MAKE THE CALL! contest will randomly select nine lucky fans to officiate Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans. The contest hearkens
Read moreI ordered something from an online retailer last week and in checkout I selected the 3-7 day delivery option. As a public service, I thought I’d take a few moments of the time I’m spending sitting by the mailbox to deconstruct some shipping terminology for you. Here’s the term: Guaranteed delivery in 3-7 business days. Seems straightforward enough. But what does
Read moreCredit Joshua Holland with that headline, which I’m stealing gleefully. Rush really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn’t he? In case you missed it: Rush Limbaugh went on a tirade today about how “feminazis” and “chickification” are to blame for the fact that he has a tiny dick the average penis is 10 percent smaller than 50 years ago:
Read moreEditor’s Note: Dr. Sid Bonesparkle of the S&R Sports Desk caught up with DeMaurice Smith, head of the NFL Players Association, in between meetings yesterday. What follows is a transcript of their candid conversation. S&R: Thanks for making a few minutes for us. I know you’re busy. Smith: No problem. I’m always glad to speak with the press. S&R: So,
Read moreA few days it looked like The Lord Thy God was a’fixin’ to smite the Republican National Convention. Now, though, His Wrath has veered out over open water, picking up steam and drawing a bead on … no, seriously? Again? … New Orleans. Now, I don’t want to get ahead of Him here – The Lord, in His infinite wisdom, works
Read moreOnce I was a believer in the time-honored Senate filibuster tradition, although by “believer” I don’t necessarily mean that I loved it or revered it, exactly. I was more like a guy worried about a zombie apocalypse stocking up on 12-gauge shells. In case things go to hell, at least the good guys have the filibuster to slow the lumbering
Read moreEvery once in awhile we will, for a variety of reasons, pick out a word that has positive connotations and proceed to flog that motherfucker to death. Like “engineer.” Engineer is a word with a meaning. From the Oxford: Pronunciation:/ɛndʒɪˈnɪə/ noun person who designs, builds, or maintains engines, machines, or structures. – a person qualified in a branch of engineering, especially
Read moreYou may have noticed this story in the Wall St. Journal several days ago: Tide Turns on Border Crossing – Number of Immigrants Arriving From Mexico Now Equaled by Those Going Home Net migration from Mexico has plummeted to zero thanks to changing demographic and economic conditions on both sides of the border, a new study says, even as political battles
Read moreI don’t know if this is some kind of bizarre ploy to lure the female vote or what, but personally I find would-be First Lady Ann Romney’s outing of her husband’s impotency to be wildly inappropriate, no matter what I think of his politics.
Read moreIt has been observed, here and elsewhere, what a fucking embarrassment Steven Tyler has become. Once Aerosmith was among America’s greatest bands, and today they occupy the #5 spot (with a bullet) on my Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen list. It was refreshing, then, when Joe Perry brought the hammer down on his silly-ass 64-going-on-14 Teen Beat bandmate. Reports TMZ:
Read moreFormer English Prime Minister Tony Blair has taken his share of beatings here at S&R, and I’m grateful to my colleague Wufnik for periodically reminding us all what an invertebrate git Wee Bambi is. In the grand scheme of things (you know, helping his Mac Daddy George Bush invade Iraq, resulting in the pointless deaths of … well, the estimates
Read moreYou know that guy who comes over for the dinner party and then just will not leave? Everybody else goes home and he’s still there, talking about this hot girlfriend he had at camp one summer in high school. You drop hint after hint and he wonders if you have any more beer. You change into your pajamas and yawn
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lullaby pit 